Awe Chasm: All Over.
Hello everyone, it’s Mark again. You may have noticed that there haven’t been any new updates on this site this week. Well, I would get used to that because I’m wrapping things up here. It’s been a good run but at this point I don’t really have the time or energy to keep this place awesome, and I’d rather just post nothing than half-hearted “oh look what I found online” filler. I’m not going to delete anything because I might come back eventually but for now, and for the foreseeable future, there will be no more updates. The funny thing is that this site somehow seems to get more hits when I post less, with people dropping by from image searches and random Google hits. So it’s nice to know that there’ll still be hundreds of people passing through here even after I’ve walked away. An electronic museum to the nonsense that once occupied my mind, and the minds of my wonderful contributors also (Danielle, Amber and Katie are all awesome and you should still go check out what they’re up to). I do have another project lined up which I will probably link to later but for now let me thank you all once more for your time and the comments, likes and general warmth you have thrown in this blog’s direction. How about we end on a song?
Sweet grooves with awkward moves – my favourite.
The Awe Chasm Collection 2012: Week 10.
Good morning Awe Chasmers! A good number of you are probably hungover from your awesome St. Patrick Day’s celebrations, so a day of lying around on the internet is probably exactly what you need. For the sober, when isn’t a day of lying around on the internet a good idea? So yeah, let’s all just do that. You can add Awe Chasm on Facebook by going here or check it out on Twitter by going here, so I’d recommend you do that. I sometimes throw stuff on Twitter that hasn’t been on the site – mostly just complaining about being unable to sleep. Where else are you going to find cutting edge material like that online, huh?! In the meantime, let’s get to the links. Kick things off, Efficiency Cat!
MONDAY
Your Morning Groove: Comme Un Enfant (Freak Remix).
From Boring To Goresome To Awesome: The Walking Dead.
CINEMONDAY: Week 10.
TUESDAY
A Lot Of People Are Too Old For This Sh*t.
WTSITS: The Computer Art Of Ringo Starr.
WEDNESDAY
Your Morning Scream: Tardigrades.
Your Evening Groove: DJ Flula Improves Press Junkets.
THURSDAY
Bodybuilders: Hot Or Not? Or REALLY Not?
Community Returns Tonight!
FRIDAY
The Triumphantly Masculine Return Of Tom Hardy.
Coming Soon: Jurassic Park 3D.
Coming Soon: Jurassic Park 3D.
3D movies are pretty much a waste of time and from what I understand the majority of people agree with this and have been slowly losing interest in the gimmick. I mean, there’s only so long you can get away with something that involves paying more money for an experience that is more likely to annoy you than entertain you. It would take something pretty special to get me interested in a 3D film. Something pretty special indeed…
Jurassic Park To Be Re-Released In 3D in 2013? For all the deserving sass there is floating around the internet for classic movies being tinkered with by modern technology, there can’t be many people who wouldn’t be excited about this? I mean, come on, Jurassic Park is one of the greatest movies of all time. It’s fun to watch every single time so I guess there’s a curiosity to seeing it again in a new way. As far as I’m concerned they might as well bump it up to 4D and have theater staff on standby to rattle our seats and spray goo in our eyes at the relevant points. THAT would be worth $20 a ticket.
So am I stupid for being excited about this? I feel a bit stupid for being excited about this. I mean, how often does 3D and/or Spielberg deliver these days? Will the film be untouched or will the JP staff now be shown trying to control the dinosaur using chew toys and walkie talkies? Maybe the dinosaurs are just misunderstood, you guys!
The Triumphantly Masculine Return Of Tom Hardy.
It’s been rather quiet on the Tom Hardy front lately. There hasn’t been much news on The Dark Knight Rises for a few months and everyone is trying to forget that This Means War happened. However, like a beautiful ray of light burst through a crack in the curtains, my morning has been illuminated by a brand new version of Tom Hardy. What has he been doing with himself for the last few months? Wonder no longer. He’s been doing this.
I’ll give you a moment to change pants.
DAMN, TOM HARDY. I guess ‘Hobo Hunk’ is something that very few people can pull off (even Brad Pitt looks a damn fool) but along comes Tom with his swagger, steely gave and the hint of a pec-beard and it all seems so easy. I know that beards are all the rage with indie girls and their indie boys in indie bands but those beards are weak and inconsequential when compared to Hardy’s thicket. That beard means business. Rugged, handsome business.
Community Returns Tonight!
COMMUNITY RETURNS TONIGHT!
I’m not going to go on and on about this because the majority of the internet seems dedicated to this subject today but yeah, if you like good, smart, funny television then you need to be watching Community, which returns to NBC tonight. Did I mention that it’s good and smart and funny? Because it’s all of those things and you should like those things for sure. That’s all I have to say. WATCH IT OR WATCH OUT.
Your Evening Groove: DJ Flula Improves Press Junkets.
We all know that press junkets are boring and it’s always nice to see someone liven them up somehow. In this case, ScreenJunkies sent DJ Flula to a press junket for Jeff Who Lives At Home (aka The Indiest Movie That Ever Indied) and rather than ask dull questions about the film’s plot and characters, he asked the stars of the films to make noises for him to turn into a techno remix of some sort. The result is the following. Good luck not tapping your foot to the phat beats.
I hope this kind of thing becomes a regular staple in movie marketing. It’s not like the actors or filmmakers are going to say anything particularly interesting in these junkets, and I’m sure they’re all just as bored of dealing with the same questions over and over again as we are. So yeah, send in a German to mix things up a bit. Those 30 seconds were the most provocative film marketing I’ve experienced in a good long while. Will it make me see the movie? Ehhh I don’t know. One guy’s a manchild, the other guy’s in a stuck-up relationship, HIJINKS! I feel like I’ve seen that movie a hundred times already. But who knows, maybe I’m judging this film unfairly based on its acoustic-fueled trailer. I should embrace the fact that looks can sometimes be deceiving.
Yep. Just pigs.
WTSITS: The Computer Art Of Ringo Starr.
Famous people can get away with a lot of stuff purely because they’re famous and therefore better than regular people and the law that governs them. Whether it’s issuing ill-advised poetry, dipping into singer/songwriting or simply having more drugs in your system than a pharmacy database it seems that a good number of celebrities just don’t know when they should stick to what they’re good at (or at least famous for). It’s unsurprising that people who are successful in one artistic genre feel the need to flex their muscles in another but it’s relatively surprising to find someone who is this utterly awful at it. I love The Beatles and I love that Ringo Starr is still alive but his dip into the realm of “computer art” is enough to make you want to think of an awesome Beatles song reference to use as a replacement for screaming in agony after seeing his work*.
Let’s give Mr. Starr a chance to explain himself. The official website quotes him as saying:
“I started in the late nineties with my computer art. While I was touring it gave me something to do in all those crazy hotels you have to stay in on the road. Most of the titles for my pieces arrived because on computer you have to call them something , so I have. The easy way to look at it is, if it has a hat on - it will probably be called Hat Man”
Oh. I see. So rarely do you get to glimpse into the genius of an artist, and when you do you find your whole life has been changed. Not for the better, necessarily. After reading that statement, I in fact feel a little dumber. “I named it Hat Man because it had a man wearing a hat in it and the computer told me I had to name it something.” I’m sure James Lipton would squirm with delight over a story so achingly pointless but I do not have the finesse to exert enthusiasm towards this artistic venture. I warn you now – this post will feature more glimpses of Ringo’s artwork, so I’d suggest wrapping a giant elastic band around your head otherwise your jaw might just drop clean off.
